Here’s everyone’s favorite volume-always-at-11 NBA analyst Stephen A. Smith at the NBA Draft, with color commentary by the amateur cameraman:

þ: Radley Balko

I went shopping today at Southpoint, and outside Barnes and Noble a street performer called “Juggleboy” was, um, juggling, with some Eurotrash rock in the background. I was 99% tempted to shout “it’s not a trick, it’s an ILLUSION!” at the top of my lungs, but I didn’t want to be evicted from the property. Plus, nobody would have gotten it anyway…

This one seems oddly appropriate:

Jimmy: It’s like I’m under siege, like that guy in that movie.
Dave: Under Siege?
Jimmy: No…
Dave: Under Siege 2?
Jimmy: No…
Dave: Under Siege 3?
Jimmy: That’s the one.
Lisa: I don’t think they made Under Siege 3.
Jimmy: Hey, a man can dream, can’t he?

Dave (to Bill): Would it be impolite at this point in the conversation to just run away from you?

Mr. Baude on the Federalist Society Symposium in New York:

Why do women keep dragging me towards the bar?

I’m sure they’re only interested in Will’s thoughts on sovereign immunity.

At conferences, usually it’s Dieter or Scott who ends up dragging me towards the bar (at ICPSR, it was more the lure of karaoke; I do an interesting interpretation of Foreigner’s Cold As Ice). The implications of that are rather disturbing.

It’s Serenity, but with Muppets.

Compare and contrast: me last Friday and Stephen Bainbridge today.

Now I get the sense of what Kevin Drum must feel like every day Paul Krugman publishes a new New York Times op-ed.

My new favorite song: “Baby Got Back” rearranged as a folk song. And, to increase the humor factor, iTunes just decided to play “Standing Still” by Jewel after it.

þ: Amber Taylor.

This clipping from an ad for the Horseshoe in the Commercial Appeal a couple of weeks ago is priceless:

I guess I now know who plays $100 slots. (þ: Mom, for sending it in the mail to me.)

Paul Brewer asks Are Political Scientists Boring? Duh. Anyone who’s been to ICPSR knows that sociologists have all the fun.

Orson Swindle of Every Day Should Be Saturday, on being a pundit:

[P]unditry’s like going to a small liberal arts college-soon enough, everyone goes to bed with everyone.

Sadly, this statement is untrue if you read “going to” as “teaching at.” Then again, judging from some accounts, I may be an outlier in this regard.

Shawn points to Joe, who in turn points to an OC Weekly piece by Greg Stacy that attempts to explain what the hell Gwen Stefani is talking about in her hit single “Hollaback Girl.” Mind you, I’m still confused…

The Minor Fall, The Major Lift on some erroneous chronology in the New York Times:

Coldplay’s powers of suck are so all-encompassing that they extend out backwards through time, influencing bands that actually predate them.

þ: Nick Troester, who also finds other aspects of the article to be amusing.

When I told my Civil Liberties class that one way porn producers tried to defend themselves in court was to produce adult films with “serious” artistic and political themes (one of the prongs of the Miller test), it never occurred to me that there might be a porn star who also has a career a lawyer. You learn something new every day… (þ: OTB)

I didn’t realize “Oops! I Did It Again” was a cover. Amazing what you can learn in the blogosphere. (þ: OxBlog)

Update: Another cover by Britney also gains disfavor.

Funny and probably true relationship advice for women:

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you (and tells you so!) and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don’t know each other.

I think I might pull off 3½ of these on a good day… I’m afraid I’m useless at housework, although the last person I had over was under the delusion that my apartment was clean.

From a recent email exchange at an ungodly hour (slightly paraphrased from memory):

Me: I’m listening to Avril now.
Student: I like Avril’s stuff. Her music isn’t bad either.
Me: Avril has stuff?

Never did get an answer to that one…

I walked around Belhaven with my camera today and took a few photos. This was by far the most amusing photo I took:

I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation why a French flag would be flying outside a house in Belhaven, but I found this juxtaposition incredibly funny nonetheless.

A friend passed along the Ron Mexico name generator. My alter ego is apparently “Bruno Jamaica.”

Incidentally, at least none of my students in intro last night thought the Supreme Court case that applied the exclusionary rule to the states was People v. Ron Mexico. (On the downside, I did have one student who thought the Shakira-Aguillera test had something to do with the free exercise clause.)

This is my entry in today's DIY OTB Traffic Jam.

Brian J. Noggle on Bennifer redux:

Nothing says “I love you” like giving the second Jennifer a ring that’s 73% of the one given to Jennifer I.

The only thing I suppose Jennifer Garner might possibly see in Ben Affleck is a better script than Elektra.

For those with a wicked sense of humor (that includes me), this will probably be one of the best blog posts you ever read.

Normally, I’m in full agreement with TigerHawk about things, but this post on Ann Coulter will not stand:

Michelle Malkin, who certainly should concern herself with the press’s treatment of attractive conservative women, writes that it is all part of a pattern. [emphasis mine]

Of course, I don’t share my co-blogger’s apparent interest in emaciated women—not to mention his predilection in favor of Ms. Coulter’s cleavage—so I may not be an unbiased observer.

I can appreciate the value of this Debian package to the fairer sex, but I have to admit the disclaimer is pretty amusing:

NOTE: This program is not a reliable contraceptive method. It does neither help to prevent sexual transmision diseases like AIDS. It is just an electronic means of keeping track of some of your medical data and extract some statistical conclusions from them. You cannot consider this program as a substitute for your gynecologist in any way. [emphasis mine]

I think if you’re the sort of person who would confuse a computer program with the Pill, a condom, or a gynecologist, the disclaimer really isn’t going to help you very much.

1. What’s the deal with Lindsay Lohan?
2. So… how about them Dodgers?
3. Complete the analogy: George Bush is to chimpanzee as (blank) is to Lurch.
4. Would Ashlee Simpson be famous if her sister weren’t Jessica Simpson?
5. If you were the president of Haiti, how would you increase your exports of baseball players to match that of the Dominican Republic?
6. Explain the song “Dip It Low” by Christina Milian in one sentence.
7. How does theft of silverware and glassware from the Caf affect the international system? Give examples.
8. “If PBS doesn’t do it, who will?” What is “it”?
9. Under the CAN-SPAM Act, what is the maximum prison sentence that the assistant director of intramural athletics can receive for mailbombing the campus population with four announcements of a 3-on-3 Dodgeball tournament?
10. Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?

I saw the first episode of Invasion Iowa last night and found it pretty entertaining. The person who came up with the idea of Shatner hauling around his Emmy with him was a genius, and “Tiny” dancing around in his nude Speedo was pretty funny too. We’ll see how they push it a bit further over the next few days as the other characters get fleshed out.