Tuesday, 5 April 2005

Top Ten questions not asked of seniors at oral comps

  1. What’s the deal with Lindsay Lohan?
  2. So… how about them Dodgers?
  3. Complete the analogy: George Bush is to chimpanzee as (blank) is to Lurch.
  4. Would Ashlee Simpson be famous if her sister weren’t Jessica Simpson?
  5. If you were the president of Haiti, how would you increase your exports of baseball players to match that of the Dominican Republic?
  6. Explain the song “Dip It Low” by Christina Milian in one sentence.
  7. How does theft of silverware and glassware from the Caf affect the international system? Give examples.
  8. “If PBS doesn’t do it, who will?” What is “it”?
  9. Under the CAN-SPAM Act, what is the maximum prison sentence that the assistant director of intramural athletics can receive for mailbombing the campus population with four announcements of a 3-on-3 Dodgeball tournament?
  10. Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?


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May I add a few more?

Under curent EPA regulations, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Do you think Mississippi will ever meet a Misterissippi?

Which is the cooler rectangle state, Wyoming or Colorado?

Please list all the ways Canada is inferior to the USA.

Why do 95% of girls and women under 35 sound like Valley Girls regardless of where they grew up?

Who let the dogs out?

Complete the following: “You might be a redneck if…”


I had not been out of grad school very long when Alanis’ Jagged Little Pill album was given never-ending radioplay – particularly “Isn’t It Ironic.” Driving in my car somewhere, I heard a literature professor spend about 15 minutes explaining how none of the examples in the song were actually ironic…they were just bummers. (It made me glad to be out of grad school, believe me.)

So I think I could at least get that one right. The answer is most emphatically NO. It is not ironic. (And yeah I really do think.)

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