Vikings RB Onterrio Smith was apparently caught in possession of a device known as “The Original Whizzinator,” apparently designed to help people beat drug tests.

If I were particularly bored, I’d launch into a long invective about the fact the only reason anyone would need such a device is due to the widespread paranoia about drugs in America. Good thing I’m not that bored. (þ: OTB and PTI)

I nearly busted a gut when Michael Wilbon suggested the name “Golden Whizzinators” on PTI Thursday for the embattled Marquette Gold. Classic, simply classic.

The stupid question in all this is why the Marquette folks can’t just go back to “Warriors” and design a modern, non-Indian mascot, like a white dude wielding an M-16 or something. I mean, it’s hard to divorce yourself from the confederate sympathy brigade with a name like “Rebels” (Colonel Reb or no Colonel Reb), but you’d think “Warriors” would be generic enough that if they changed the logo everyone’d go, “OK, it has nothing to do with Indians now.”