Friday, 16 September 2005

College sports betting thought of the year

If I were (a) stupid enough to bet on sports and (b) stupid enough to bet on any game the Rebels were involved with, I’d take Ole Miss (+3) over Vandy and the under (44). Reasons:

  • Ole Miss can defend the pass. The pass is, well, Vandy’s entire offense (except that whole option thing).
  • Vandy isn’t as good as Memphis. Ole Miss, er, beat Memphis. Ergo, Ole Miss should beat Vandy.
  • Vandy’s home field advantage is nonexistent.
  • Vandy loses to Ole Miss, even in years the Rebels suck (see: 2001, 2002, 2004). So, even if Ole Miss does suck this year (something yet to be determined—we’ll see in mid-October), they should still beat Vandy.
  • Intangible 1: I’m quite certain that Vandy being 3–0 is a sign of the apocalypse. I don’t think universal armageddon is quite here yet.
  • Intangible 2: Coach O will probably call the entire team a “bunch of pussies” if they lose to Vandy. The team doesn’t want a tanned shirtless guy calling them pussies. So they will win. And not wear any earrings.

Disclaimer: taking my betting advice is probably a bad idea under any and all circumstances. I am not responsible for any monetary losses incurred as a result of this pick.

5 comments:

Any views expressed in these comments are solely those of their authors; they do not reflect the views of the authors of Signifying Nothing, unless attributed to one of us.
[Permalink] 1. Newspaper Hack wrote @ Sat, 17 Sep 2005, 1:13 am CDT:

What you have to worry about is Orgeron killing Jay Cutler with his ninja moves. And eating him at midfield.

“OLE MISS! WILD BOYS!”
“Anybody who wants to take me, bring it on!”

 
[Permalink] 2. Newspaper Hack wrote @ Sat, 17 Sep 2005, 1:15 am CDT:

Oh, fuck. The posting thingy fouled up my post. Well, lesson learned for making fun of the Rebels.

 
[Permalink] 3. Alfred Sumrall wrote @ Sat, 17 Sep 2005, 10:00 am CDT:

Call me stupid, but I didn’t bother with the spread and tool Ole MIss +130 to win straight-up.

 

See, now y’all know why I don’t bet on sports…

 
[Permalink] 5. Alfred Sumrall wrote @ Mon, 19 Sep 2005, 2:53 pm CDT:

Luckily, I made up for it (and then some) by realizing how much the Hogs truly do suck this year…

That -29.5 didn’t scare me off at all.

 
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