Friday, 16 September 2005

College sports betting thought of the year

If I were (a) stupid enough to bet on sports and (b) stupid enough to bet on any game the Rebels were involved with, I’d take Ole Miss (+3) over Vandy and the under (44). Reasons:

  • Ole Miss can defend the pass. The pass is, well, Vandy’s entire offense (except that whole option thing).
  • Vandy isn’t as good as Memphis. Ole Miss, er, beat Memphis. Ergo, Ole Miss should beat Vandy.
  • Vandy’s home field advantage is nonexistent.
  • Vandy loses to Ole Miss, even in years the Rebels suck (see: 2001, 2002, 2004). So, even if Ole Miss does suck this year (something yet to be determined—we’ll see in mid-October), they should still beat Vandy.
  • Intangible 1: I’m quite certain that Vandy being 3–0 is a sign of the apocalypse. I don’t think universal armageddon is quite here yet.
  • Intangible 2: Coach O will probably call the entire team a “bunch of pussies” if they lose to Vandy. The team doesn’t want a tanned shirtless guy calling them pussies. So they will win. And not wear any earrings.

Disclaimer: taking my betting advice is probably a bad idea under any and all circumstances. I am not responsible for any monetary losses incurred as a result of this pick.


Any views expressed in these comments are solely those of their authors; they do not reflect the views of the authors of Signifying Nothing, unless attributed to one of us.
[Permalink] 1. Newspaper Hack wrote @ Sat, 17 Sep 2005, 1:13 am CDT:

What you have to worry about is Orgeron killing Jay Cutler with his ninja moves. And eating him at midfield.

“Anybody who wants to take me, bring it on!”

[Permalink] 2. Newspaper Hack wrote @ Sat, 17 Sep 2005, 1:15 am CDT:

Oh, fuck. The posting thingy fouled up my post. Well, lesson learned for making fun of the Rebels.

[Permalink] 3. Alfred Sumrall wrote @ Sat, 17 Sep 2005, 10:00 am CDT:

Call me stupid, but I didn’t bother with the spread and tool Ole MIss +130 to win straight-up.


See, now y’all know why I don’t bet on sports…

[Permalink] 5. Alfred Sumrall wrote @ Mon, 19 Sep 2005, 2:53 pm CDT:

Luckily, I made up for it (and then some) by realizing how much the Hogs truly do suck this year…

That -29.5 didn’t scare me off at all.

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