Friday, 25 November 2005

Back in Durham

After taking a free roundtrip ticket to wait five hours for a later flight, I’m back safe and sound in Durham; I think the only thing I missed was the Duke–Memphis championship game in what still ought to be called the Preseason NIT.

Oh, and Arkansas choked against LSU—there’s simply no other way to describe that performance.

My big debate for tomorrow: use my women’s basketball season tickets to see Duke dismantle Arkansas State or listen to the Egg Bowl over the Internet. Maybe one of these decades I’ll have a fancy phone that will let me do both at once.

Thursday, 24 November 2005

No more Noel

The Noel Mazzone era at Ole Miss is apparently over, although no official announcement has appeared as of yet. Mazzone, who previously served as offensive coordinator on Tommy Tuberville’s staff before the latter’s departure for Auburn, apparently never was a good fit with Ed Orgeron’s plans to implement a USC-style offense in Oxford.

Monday, 21 November 2005

Allegiance

Part of the difficulty of being in job limbo: am I supposed to be rooting for the Rams or the Packers? Given the teams’ records, I’d rather not have to root for either.

Wednesday, 16 November 2005

Reading, a novel concept

The only place I ever seem to get any reading done (beyond that essential for my scholarship and teaching) is on airplanes, so I finally read Franklin Foer’s How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization on my last interview junket—actually, I had it read by the time I got to the Frozen Tundra; I had to settle for finishing my Economist backlog on the way back.

It’s an enjoyable enough read, and Foer has a good, clear narrative style. My major quibble: I’m not sure soccer “explains” much of anything in the book; at best, it’s an indicator or reflection of the phenomena that Foer discusses.

Wednesday, 9 November 2005

Back

Well, I’m now in the interlude between my two interviews—not much of an interlude, considering I have classes to teach, assignments to grade, and clothes to get washed, but an interlude nonetheless.

In the meantime, my only real thought of the day: who exactly told Terrell Owens that it would be a good idea for him to get a heel manager?

Tuesday, 1 November 2005

You need him in this bar

Something to bring a tear to any Ole Miss fan’s eye: Orson Swindle says Coach O would be the #1 college football coach to go drinking with. I can’t disagree, even if the man does frighten me.

Don’t believe Coach O is a scary man? Watch the Ole Miss coach’s show—“Voice of the Rebels” David Kellum looks scared to death all the time, and this is with Coach O sitting there saying nice (albeit pithy) things despite having every reason to go on a Hulk rage.

Saturday, 29 October 2005

Hideous Gator unis

After seeing about five minutes of the Cocktail Party, I’m inclined to agree that the new Gator uniforms are hideous.

Then again, it seems to be working for them, since they’re now up 14–0 on Georgia.

Monday, 24 October 2005

This week's manufactured BCS controversy

Today’s “big sports news” is that Texas is #1 and ahead of Southern Cal by a few billionths of a point in this week’s release of the BCS rankings, thus reigniting the BCS doom-and-gloom scenarios.

The bottom-line facts are as follows:

  • USC has done nothing more impressive this season than any of the other major undefeated teams (Texas, Alabama, Georgia, and UCLA). Bama and Georgia are both undefeated in the only conference where every team has a defense; Texas just demolished a Texas Tech squad who themselves were demolishing all comers; UCLA has beaten up on the same weak conference opponents as USC with identical results.
  • The only reason we think USC is entitled to be ”#1” is because the AP and coaches ranked them #1 in August before a single game was played—back when they also thought Tennessee was the third-best team in the country (instead of the third-best team in the SEC East) and UCLA was in the “others receiving votes” category in both polls.
  • It doesn’t matter who’s ranked #1, as long as you don’t drop out of the top two.

So, guys, can we put the controversy on hold until Thanksgiving, at least?

þ: OTB and others.

Sunday, 23 October 2005

The New Orleans Saints of Los Angeles (by way of San Antonio)

ESPN.com reports that, according to NFL sources, the only way the Saints are likely to come back to New Orleans is if they play in a Super Bowl. Given the team’s history of threats to leave town for greener pastures (most recently—and, in retrospect, ironically—for the Mississippi Gulf Coast), nobody should be particularly surprised.

If Mayor Nagin and Governor Blanco are smart (admittedly a dubious proposition), they’ll shake down Saints owner Tom Benson for as much buyout money as possible—and then spend it on something other than luring another NFL franchise to town.

þ: OTB.

Wednesday, 19 October 2005

Robert Lane… fullback of the future?

Blue chip quarterback Robert Lane will move to fullback this week in addition to continuing as the backup QB, apparently solidifying Micheal Spurlock’s role as starting QB and Ethan Flatt’s role as clipboard-holder. Coach O’s other position changes seem to have worked out well thus far (most notably, moving Jamal Pittman from HB to FB, and making Mico McSwain the #1 HB), so maybe Lane as a fullback will work well too.

Saturday, 15 October 2005

College football thoughts of the day

As I predicted, it was one lousy day for Chris in the college football world: Ole Miss does its impression of being a good team, but doesn’t stop the key drive at the end; Duke leads at the half against Georgia Tech, then completely implodes, and the one day of my life I root for Notre Dame fricking USC wins for the bazillionth consecutive game. At least Joe Pa’s Lazarus impersonation is coming to an end, as the Nittany Lions lose to a not-particularly-great Michigan team.

My Wallace Wade observations for today (on a great afternoon for football, at least weather-wise):

  • Song college bands should not perform under any circumstances: Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You’ve Been Gone.”
  • Song college bands should perform on a regular basis: Jimmy Buffett’s “Cheeseburger in Paradise.” If you can get enthusiasm out of a Duke football crowd with this song, imagine what you could do with it in a real football stadium.
  • Things you should not do before a Duke football game: get fall-down drunk. Although I have to say watching inebriated sorority pledges stumble around the stadium was somewhat amusing.
  • Things that need to visit a tanning bed: the Georgia Tech cheerleaders. I’m not saying they were pale, just that I’ve seen albinos with darker skin tones.

Next week: Kentucky comes to Vaught-Hemingway in an untelevised game—finally, I can pencil in an SEC win for the Rebels—while the Seminoles cruise into Wallace Wade, where the real wagering action is on whether FSU fans will outnumber Duke fans.

Saturday, 8 October 2005

A win isn't a loss, at least

Ole Miss (2–3) finally got off the schnide today, winning 27–7 against I-AA Citadel after a pretty lackluster first half. Mind you, the Rebels face an undefeated Alabama squad next weekend in Oxford (possibly to be televised on CBS), so I don’t expect us to have a winning record any time soon.

Monday, 3 October 2005

The legendary Ed Orgeron Hummer ad

By popular demand: Ed Orgeron wants to sell you a Hummer, in H.264 format suitable for your iPod or Apple TV, and viewable on pretty much any modern PC or Mac.

Also available in DivX format, but you’ll need the XviD codec if you don't already have it installed.

Greetings to our visitors from EDSBS. Updated to add the H.264 version, which is smaller and the same quality as the original.

Saturday, 1 October 2005

Your annual Major football update

EDSBS notes that the Millsaps Majors are using a 48-year-old player this season; more on the story here from The Sporting News.

Friday, 16 September 2005

College sports betting thought of the year

If I were (a) stupid enough to bet on sports and (b) stupid enough to bet on any game the Rebels were involved with, I’d take Ole Miss (+3) over Vandy and the under (44). Reasons:

  • Ole Miss can defend the pass. The pass is, well, Vandy’s entire offense (except that whole option thing).
  • Vandy isn’t as good as Memphis. Ole Miss, er, beat Memphis. Ergo, Ole Miss should beat Vandy.
  • Vandy’s home field advantage is nonexistent.
  • Vandy loses to Ole Miss, even in years the Rebels suck (see: 2001, 2002, 2004). So, even if Ole Miss does suck this year (something yet to be determined—we’ll see in mid-October), they should still beat Vandy.
  • Intangible 1: I’m quite certain that Vandy being 3–0 is a sign of the apocalypse. I don’t think universal armageddon is quite here yet.
  • Intangible 2: Coach O will probably call the entire team a “bunch of pussies” if they lose to Vandy. The team doesn’t want a tanned shirtless guy calling them pussies. So they will win. And not wear any earrings.

Disclaimer: taking my betting advice is probably a bad idea under any and all circumstances. I am not responsible for any monetary losses incurred as a result of this pick.

Saturday, 10 September 2005

Now I know why Dukies like basketball

Here’s everything you need to know about the Virginia Tech–Duke game today:

Duke finished with 35 total yards on 53 plays[.]

If it’s possible, the game was worse than that stat. Now I know how Vanderbilt fans feel (except usually they at least score). About the only thing worthwhile about the game—besides the impromptu first down celebration a few of us had over in general admission in the third quarter and the game announcer’s almost-British level of understatement*—was the scenery.†

Now my debate for next week: do I use my (paid for) ticket to see Duke play VMI (which at least should be a competitive game), or do I stay home and pay twenty bucks to Time-Warner to watch Ole Miss–Vandy on GamePlan?

* Almost verbatim, after a 3rd and 23 screen pass that barely made it past the line of scrimmage: “the pass is complete, but short of the first down.”
† And, if my arms and legs are anything to judge by, most of the scenery is now sunburned. I never got sunburned at Ole Miss games; weird.

Thursday, 8 September 2005

What I should have had my methods class do

A columnist for the Cornell Daily Sun rips on ESPN and brings some statistics to the table:

I recorded a normal hour-long SportsCenter and watched it, stopwatch and notepad in hand. I took record of how many of the 60 minutes were spent actually showing highlights. I defined highlights as any game footage, any top plays, any actual sports — no talking, no analyzing, just the visuals. This excludes time well spent on post-game interviews and relevant statistics, and the necessary evil that is the commercial — so I accept that the entire hour will not be used for highlights and highlights alone.

The results weren’t pretty…

þ: The Road From Bristol, who are now conducting an NIT of non-ESPN personalities that seems to comprise mostly baseball people I’ve never heard of.

The Ed Orgeron fan club

Joey of Straight Bangin’ continues the “Ed Orgeron is batshit crazy” meme and hilarity ensues.

þ: EDSBS; more here.

Tuesday, 6 September 2005

I thought ESPN seemed quieter

ESPN has sent College GameDay analyst Trev Alberts packing after the latter apparently complained about the diminished role the studio hosts were playing in the network’s college football coverage. After seeing Rece Davis and Mark May working as a duo this weekend, I hope (probably against hope…) that ESPN will see fit to not replace Alberts with another no-account Big XII homer meathead analyst—though, unfortunately, Jason White’s departure from the NFL makes him a prime candidate for Alberts’ seat.

þ: EDSBS, who previously noted Trev’s further descent into meatheadedness this weekend.

If in doubt, piss off the French

Gotta love Lance Armstrong, who is considering coming out of retirement—not to try to win a ninth an eighth Tour de France, but just to piss off the Gauls:

“I’m thinking it’s the best way,’’ to anger the French, he told the newspaper. “I’m exercising every day.’’

I think it’s more likely that a Lance return will piss off his heirs-apparent like Ivan Basso, Alexander Vinokurov, and Jan Ullrich, but if it annoys the French too it should be a nice bonus.

And the legend continues (or at least begins)

Well, it was fugly to the max (although not quite as bad as the FSU-Miami game), but the Rebels eked out a 10–6 win over the University of Memphis on Labor Day in Memphis’ Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium. Defensively, the Rebels looked like they were in pretty sound form, effectively shutting down outside Heisman hopeful DeAngelo Williams and racking up the game-saving pick.

On the other hand, the offense remains something of a question mark, although Micheal Spurlock looked surprisingly competent under center; Mario Hill looked to be the class of the receiving corps, while Mike Espy and Taye Biddle remained somewhat spotty performers. I think the Rebels will be able to handle Vanderbilt on the 17th, but the rest of the SEC schedule (particularly at Tennessee and Auburn) could be highly problematic unless the offense is able to get in gear soon.

Saturday, 3 September 2005

College football thought of the day

You know, a year ago the statement “Brandon Cox is no Jason Campbell” wouldn’t have been an insult.

Huzzah and kudos

Congratulations to the U.S. mens’ soccer team on qualifying for the 2006 World Cup Finals in Germany as a result of their 2–0 victory over Mexico in Columbus this evening. This is the fifth consecutive World Cup that the U.S. has qualified for, suggesting that the American squad is rapidly becoming a serious contender on the international scene.

Tuesday, 30 August 2005

Maisel on Coach O

Ivan Maisel has a feature up at ESPN.com on Ed Orgeron’s unorthodox approach to head coaching in Oxford, which is coming as something of a culture shock to the team and observers alike. Incidentally, Orgeron’s shirt-off challenge, which has become something of an Internet meme, is neither confirmed nor denied by the coach.

Sunday, 28 August 2005

Stu-ya

The Road from Bristol finals have arrived: Skip Bayless v. Stuart Scott. Go and vote one of these doofuses out of our misery.