Here’s everything you need to know about the Virginia Tech–Duke game today:

Duke finished with 35 total yards on 53 plays[.]

If it’s possible, the game was worse than that stat. Now I know how Vanderbilt fans feel (except usually they at least score). About the only thing worthwhile about the game—besides the impromptu first down celebration a few of us had over in general admission in the third quarter and the game announcer’s almost-British level of understatement*—was the scenery.†

Now my debate for next week: do I use my (paid for) ticket to see Duke play VMI (which at least should be a competitive game), or do I stay home and pay twenty bucks to Time-Warner to watch Ole Miss–Vandy on GamePlan?

* Almost verbatim, after a 3rd and 23 screen pass that barely made it past the line of scrimmage: “the pass is complete, but short of the first down.”
† And, if my arms and legs are anything to judge by, most of the scenery is now sunburned. I never got sunburned at Ole Miss games; weird.