I went for an end-of-night stroll around the internet looking for a quote that I used years ago as an email signature. Apparently Oklahoma has had issues with cockfighting for decades, even up to the present. Here’s the quote I was looking for:

In every country the Communists have taken over, the first thing they do is outlaw cockfighting.
– John Monks, Oklahoma state representative, arguing against a bill that would make cockfighting illegal in his state

I also found this via The Professor, about The Professor:

10)He dresses as Santa Claus and pretends to have a heart attack in front of small groups of children.

6)He has to kill hobos to get an erection.