2003-12-27T00:05:48Z2003-12-27T00:05:48ZClay Aiken: Not a subjunctive singer2003-12-27T21:48:52Z<p><cite>American Idol</cite> loser Clay Aiken’s new hit, “Invisible,” <a href="http://www.lyrics007.com/Clay%20Aiken%20Lyrics/Invisible%20Lyrics.html">features</a> the following chorus:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>If I was invisible<br />
Then I could just watch you in your room<br />
If I was invincible<br />
I’d make you mine tonight<br />
If hearts were unbreakable<br />
Then I could just tell you where I stand<br />
I would be the smartest man<br />
If I was invisible<br />
(Wait… I already am)</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Yes, it’s a toe-tapping song you just want to sing along to… but, as the founder (and sole member) of the American Society to Revive the Subjunctive Voice, I must point out that the first line should read “If I <em>were</em> invisible,” as it expresses a hypothetical state of being rather than objective reality. (Just call me Don Quixote.)</p>
<p>I also am slightly disturbed by the fact that the loser on <cite>American Idol</cite> is permitted to have a showbiz career. Fox should seriously consider adding a provision to the rules that permanently blackballs the runner-up from showbiz. Nothing against Clay, but if there’s nothing at stake, and no downside to losing, what’s the point of the contest?</p>
<p><span class="update">Update:</span> Brian J. Noggle <a title="More Creepy Love Song Lyrics" href="http://stlbrianj.blogspot.com/2003_12_21_archive.html#107253964481758582">further deconstructs Aiken’s lyrics</a> and is, to put it mildly, disturbed.</p>
http://blog.lordsutch.com/archives/1037
http://blog.lordsutch.com/atom.cgi/entryid=1037